9 weeks....only about 31 worried weeks to go. This past week has been a very exhausting one. I have had absolutely no energy whatsoever. Over the weekend I had a list of things I wanted to accomplish, not a long list either but I couldn't peel myself off of the couch. I just have no energy and I wake up completely tired. I know I will probably never feel rested again in my life or at least until I have a teen that sleeps all day. I had a lot more morning sickness this week than usual. With Olivia and Asher it was always set times in the day. Olivia was always at dinner and Asher was always late morning. This one is all over the place - morning, late morning, afternoon, evening, night - whenever it pleases. Sometimes preggo pops help and sometimes they don't. I'm not a puker though so that is good. This past Monday I had my 9 week ultrasound. Up till this point they were letting me do ultrasounds every 2 weeks. Baby looks great. So far so good. I was a nervous wreck the whole time. My next appointment is in 3 weeks where we will do the chromosome blood test that also tells us the gender and do another ultrasound. After that we will start seeing the high risk doctor for ultrasounds.
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Yesterday I had a vision that left me in tears. If you're not a believer of the spirtual world and the signs they send us, then this post probably isn't for you. I was driving to deliver some memory boxes to Lurie Children's Hospital for Mended Little Hearts of Chicago and I was all into this song I was listening to and all of a sudden I got this vision, a day dream. My parents showed up at the hospital while I was in labor and when they asked where my room was, the nurse asked them to wait in the waiting room. She told them that I had just delivered a healthy baby and that we were spending our time with it. (I'm saying it because I don't want to give away what I think he or she is) I just started crying and thought this one really does get to stay. I had seen this picture at Hobby Lobby a few months ago, before I ever knew I was pregnant and loved it so over the weekend while it was half off, I decided to go buy it. It completely terrified me that I had bought this. I never got to decorate Olivia's room and Asher never made it home to his room. I want to use a lot of what I already have but make the room completely different from what it was for Asher. I know they both will be incooperated into the room somehow. I just think after being so scared after buying this that Olivia and Asher knew I needed a sign, a vision that this baby will be staying.
So last night we told family and today we announced to everyone else. I was very nervous about telling everyone but it was pretty amazing. People had me in tears from their responses. It really made me happy and made my day. I already knew I had a lot of support but it makes me so happy to know that people are truly happy for us and are supporting, praying and there for us through this journey. So many said I made their day. They made my day!
Last month I attended this candle lighting ceremony and they had a crafting session before it started. I got there late and didn't have time to do the craft so they let me pick out some things to bring home. They had these unfinished wood boxes that I decided to take. I wasn't sure what I was going to make with it so it sat on my craft table for a couple weeks. Then I found out I was pregnant and so I started thinking of ideas of using the box as an announcement. These boxes are at Michaels for a little under $6. I went each day until I had enough and used a 50% off coupon. I decided to mix white and grey paint to make it look white washed. It didn't turn out exactly like that but I still love them. I made one for myself to keep baby's things in. When the boxes were dry, I hot glued flowers that I already had on the top outside of the box. For my box, I added this quote on the inside. It just seemed fitting. I printed it and modpodged it to the inside. The boxes for the family did not have the quote added. I started working on all the details. We were planning to wait till Valentine's to announce so I wanted to do a heart theme and especially because the heart is a big deal to us. I printed these notes and then used 3M tape to put on gold scrapbook paper. I added a little heart sticker too. I found this crinkle paper on accident at World Market. I was glad Valentine stuff came out early because it meant I could start looking for chocolate hearts. I couldn't find any small enough so I ended up getting marshmallow hearts. I added the message and the ultrasound. Just as an extra touch, I tied red heart balloons around them. We left them on the porch for each family member and mailed them to my family. My husband decided to announce a week sooner than I thought so I told my family through text but am still sending the boxes to them because I think it is a nice keepsake.
Supplies for this project: - unfinished wooden box - paint - mod podge - hot glue - flowers - crinkle paper - items you want to add inside (note, ultrasound pic, chocolate heart) On Monday, I had an ultrasound to measure our little rainbow to see exactly when my due date is. Baby was measuring 7 weeks 4 days putting me due on August 25th instead of the 21st. So according to the ultrasound, I am 8 weeks today.
It has been 4 years since I was last pregnant and let me tell you, you forget what it's like to be pregnant. But I am happy to be pregnant and have this last chance at being a mother to a living child. My husband and I have been arguing on when to tell everyone. Yes, I am not that far along but growing belly says otherwise. I've never been one to wear big baggy clothes so I don't own a lot of them so I'm running out of oversized sweaters that'll hide my bump. Luckily I just sit at a desk all day and don't do much walking around. I wear lots of black most of the time. I've been pretty lucky for the most part - minimal morning sickness. I'm just really tired. I could probably sleep all day if I could. When I go home from work, I have no energy to do anything. I'll be happy when this part passes. Hiding this little rainbow is getting harder and harder to do. My pants no longer button so now I am using the Bella Band to still be able to wear my regular jeans. For the most part I feel great. Tired and a little morning sickness although I don't mind when I do have morning sickness cause it lets me know baby is still growing. I have another appointment on Monday and then we may be sharing the news if everything goes well.
We had a #RememberOurHearts photo shoot on Saturday for Mended Little Hearts of Chicago as part of a CHD Awareness photo gallery we are doing during February. We added our little rainbow's ultrasound and little moccasins to the photo to use as an announcement which we had planned on doing at 12 weeks after Opening Night but not sure we will be able to make it that long. I had my first appointment on New Year's Eve. I was the first appointment of the morning and a complete nervous wreck. JD was working and unable to come with me. I just wanted to get the first appointment out of the way for some positive reassurance but now it probably would have been better to take someone with me or to have waited another week. The doctor was over 30 minutes late which didn't help with my nerves. He finally came in and we did the ultrasound. He told me that the baby didn't look as far a long as they have me down. Maybe I am a week behind so he scheduled me for another ultrasound in 2 weeks. He told me to let him know if there was any bleeding. For someone that is already nervous and worried, hearing all of that was not reassuring or positive. It just made me worry that much more. My doctor is usually pretty good about not freaking me out. So I came home and panicked. I pulled out Asher's baby book and compared ultrasounds. To me they look almost exact and this baby's ultrasound is a week earlier. Also, he told me the same thing with Asher, that I was a week behind and by the end of the pregnancy they realized my due date was wrong. Knowing both of those reassured me a bit. I'm still worried because it's hard not to worry that we will lose this baby too but I am very hopeful that this one gets to stay. After I calmed myself down, I went on facebook and I saw this. I love it and is something I want to remember throughout this pregnancy.
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About MeI have experienced two separate losses to stillbirth and infant loss to CHD and blood clots. This is my online journal with my 3rd pregnancy, my rainbow. Archives
July 2017
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