I can't believe I am getting so close. I've been having a lot of Braxton Hicks plus back pain in general. I have also been doing way more than I should be because I have been trying to do too much but after thinking I would actually go into labor, I have been taking it easy.
I was sleeping because I have been worried about making arrangements for my dogs, having the house ready and having the hospital bags packed. We got all of that done and I was able to sleep......but then I had a new worry. I'm so close to the end, what if it is all taken away from us? I know she is healthy but I also know that a stillbirth can happen anytime for no reason at all. It's terrifying to think that we have come so close to have it taken from us. These thoughts and her not moving as much kept me up the other night. Luckily she returned back to her active self. I am very thankful that she is so active so that those worries are very few. Today starts weekly testing of ultrasounds and non stress tests. Having these tests every week, I think are just going to help calm me even more until the end. I so appreciate the extra testing from my doctors and the fact that I don't have to ask for them. I love how closely they are watching us.
2 Comments
Kim
6/30/2016 07:41:12 pm
Hi, my name is Kim. I'm not sure how I can across your blog but I did. I think when I was googling CHD. My son recently passed away from complications from Tetralogy of Fallot. I lost my first son at 19 weeks with no explanation. Your story gives me hope. Sending lots of positive thoughts and prayers for you and your rainbow!!!
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Kim
6/30/2016 07:58:34 pm
I do having a healthy 3 year old girl who is my joy. I would love for her to have a living sibling after having to say goodbye to her brother but we'll see. It's just hard to find anyone to relate to with 2 unusual losses like you and I have had :(
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About MeI have experienced two separate losses to stillbirth and infant loss to CHD and blood clots. This is my online journal with my 3rd pregnancy, my rainbow. Archives
July 2017
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