Grief: A Mother's Journey
This project came to me in a dream, a message I believed was from my babies Olivia and Asher. In that dream my two friends who have also lost a baby, Michelle and Tori were in the dream too. I asked them to be a part of this project so that we could educate the public about grief that a mother goes through.
So many times people are so hard on the mom that loses her child. They start asking, when are you going to have another baby, a question that started for me just 4 months after losing my son. They want to know when you will be your old self again and when you will be happy, less negative, sad, etc.
There's a misconception that a mother or any bereaved family member gets over the loss of any loved one, that you just forget about it and just move on. That is so not true! There are 5 stages of grief and you need the time to grieve.
Grief is a mix of different things. It is hard and messy, confusing, terrifying, lonely, but there is a lot that comes from grief. You become a stronger person, a different new you. My children transpired me into someone who has a drive to make a difference in the World. To leave a positive legacy for myself and for them. Grief is so much more than just sadness. It is an ever changing growing experience. One that deserves a lot of patience, love and support.
So many times people are so hard on the mom that loses her child. They start asking, when are you going to have another baby, a question that started for me just 4 months after losing my son. They want to know when you will be your old self again and when you will be happy, less negative, sad, etc.
There's a misconception that a mother or any bereaved family member gets over the loss of any loved one, that you just forget about it and just move on. That is so not true! There are 5 stages of grief and you need the time to grieve.
Grief is a mix of different things. It is hard and messy, confusing, terrifying, lonely, but there is a lot that comes from grief. You become a stronger person, a different new you. My children transpired me into someone who has a drive to make a difference in the World. To leave a positive legacy for myself and for them. Grief is so much more than just sadness. It is an ever changing growing experience. One that deserves a lot of patience, love and support.
Testimonials
"What an important opportunity to give a voice to loss. To turn grief into action. While the images certainly reflected the pain of loss and grief, they also demonstrated opportunities to take this difficult journey you are on and be constructive - owning your story and making a difference." - Amy
About the Exhibit Authors
Jen DeBouver
|
Jen is a bereaved mother of two babies - Olivia and Asher. Olivia was stillborn at 27 weeks into the pregnancy due to undiagnosed MTHFR that Jen was unaware she had. 9 weeks after Olivia's loss, she was unexpectedly pregnant with Asher who was diagnosed at 26 weeks with Aortic Stenosis, a congenital heart defect. Asher was born with a couple CHDs and heart issues. At 4 weeks old he developed blood clots that took his life at 6 weeks old. Jen and her husband JD started Asher James Congenital Heart Disease & Thrombosis Foundation after losing Asher to provide support,, awareness and fund research in children's blood clots.
Jen desperately looked for support in her grief journey and found Mended Little Hearts of Chicago, who provides support to CHD families. Soon after joining the group, she became the Bereavement Coordinator and started the Angels group for the bereaved families. She also became the National Bereavement Chair for the National Mended Little Hearts Organization. She has learned so much in her grief journey and from the bereaved parents around her. She uses every bad and good situation as a way to teach others about grief that a parent goes through when losing a child. She often says there is no manual for grief and there isn't so Jen is currently working on a book. |
Tori Smith
|
Tori Smith is mom to 6 beautiful children. 1 grown daughter and 5 young sons, the youngest being Sterling who died in December 2011 at 13 months 2 weeks and 6 days old. For 8 long months the Smith family had no idea what took Sterling from their arms. When they finally got a diagnosis of congenital heart defects, Tori began researching. She discovered it is the most common birth defect with about 1 in every 100 babies born having one.
She began sharing her story with anyone who would listen. Advocating for better testing and for parents to know the signs and symptoms to look for. Her work has taken her to Washington, DC to advocate. And Sterling's Heart Loveys came about. Combining Sterling's favorite things, his Lovey and his Sophie giraffe. Babies born on his birthday at the same hospital he was, go home with a giraffe themed Lovey and a card with what to look for. The family is hopeful that this program may grow and at the very least, new parents can go home with a little more information on the number 1 defect. |
Michelle Williams
Sorrow & Love Abound at Grief: A Mother's Journey
Click the picture to read the story published on CBS Chicago's website.
Interested in the Exhibit?
If you are interested in media coverage, having the exhibit in your art gallery, hospital education,, etc. please contact Jen at [email protected].
Grief: A Mother's Journey 2016
Do you want to be part of this project this year? Are you interested in sharing your grief story, your child's grief story? What is grief to you? What does it look like?
This year we are going to do a blog series of grief for those that lose a child in their family. Submit your story of grief with up to 6 photos by July 31st to [email protected]. In October the webpage will be promoted for Miscarriage, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.
This year we are going to do a blog series of grief for those that lose a child in their family. Submit your story of grief with up to 6 photos by July 31st to [email protected]. In October the webpage will be promoted for Miscarriage, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.