In Memory

In Memory of Olivia and Asher

I love doing things in memory of my children. To me doing things in their memory is very healing and keeps them alive in a way. I participate in walks, butterfly releases, candlelight ceremonies, do different craft project amongst other things. Here are some things that I have done in their memory.

CHD Month Candle Lighting Event
February 26, 2017

I love the way Nina is looking at her big brother in these pictures.....like she already knows him. We attended my last event that I coordinated for our angels group for CHD Awareness month.

Olivia's 5th Birthday

We traveled on Olivia's birthday to Oklahoma for Thanksgiving. The day before we left we thought of Olivia as we always do and reflected on where our journey has taken us over the past 5 years.

CHD Remembrance Day
October 23, 2016

Every year our group does a CHD Remembrance Day event and this year it fell on Asher's Angelversary. With Nina being a premie and getting sick, it was hard to do anything in his or Olivia's memory so it was kind of nice to have this event on the morning of his Angelversary. We opted not to do balloons this year since they are so harmful to the environment. Instead we released doves. It was so beautiful.

Asher's Birthday Event
October 15, 2016

Because of our little Nina being a premie we decided to do something different for Asher's birthday and did a dinner instead of our usual softball event. The theme was giraffes and stars.

Butterfly Release
June 4, 2016

I love attending this event each year. It is in this little garden at a local hospital. They have everyone say who they are there releasing a butterfly for and there are refreshments after the event. Everyone gets a butterfly to release. It is usually pretty packed once you get all the families out in the garden. Sometimes the butterflies are gone in a second and sometimes they stay for a little while.

Mended Little Hearts Roar & Walk
May 15, 2016

Walking and remembering our little CHD Angel always. His fight ended too soon.

Mended Little Hearts Angels of Chicago families walking in memory of our CHD Angels.

Rainbow Pregnancy

My friend added a blue and a pink bird to the gender reveal cake for Olivia and Asher and I had their footprints turned into rubber stamps and added them to my belly during the maternity photo shoot.

CHD Legislative Conference
February 2016, Washington D.C.

This was my first time attending the CHD Legislative Conference in Washington D.C. I really enjoyed going and advocating for CHD and sharing Asher's story. We got to meet with Senator Dick Durbin who lost his daughter to CHD. We toured the Capitol building while we were our advocating. The day before we went sight seeing at the Holocaust Museum and did the Night Monument Tour.

Olivia's 4th Still Birthday

Olivia's birthday was weird this year. I was depressed leading up to it and then I got sick and was still feeling exhausted on her birthday so I didn't feel up to doing all the things I usually do. I instead had a week of Olivia. Go to the home page to read all about it .
http://dearoliviamadilynn.weebly.com/home/week-of-olivia

CHD Remembrance Day
October 25, 2015

I couldn't make it last minute to Mended Little Hearts FIRST CHD Remembrance Day after I had planned out most of the event so I put it in the hands of my co-coordinators. They did such an amazing job. I just loved the picture of all the pumpkins around the fireplace with the wings and mums. They had a beautiful balloon release and my friends even included Olivia and Asher. I loved that so much.

Asher's 3rd Angelversary

For Asher's Angelversary we went to Goebbert's Pumpkin Farm because I wanted to feed the giraffes. There were a ton of kids there on field trips so the giraffes kept standing off in a corner away from everyone.

Eventually one came over to us and took our carrot sticks. My husband and I both got to pet the giraffe and feed it.

Asher's 3rd Birthday

For Asher's 3rd Birthday we went to Brookfield Zoo in Chicago to see the giraffes. It was a cloudy day and the rain held off just until we saw the giraffes, which happened to be one of the last things we saw.

Every time I see giraffes, there is always one that will just watch me. It always makes me think that Asher is a part of that giraffe in that moment and he is just letting me know he is there.

Asher's 3rd Birthday Softball Event

Every year for Asher's birthday we do a softball event with our foundation - Asher James Foundation against Mended Little Hearts of Chicago. This year we had a theme of Lions, Giraffes & Softball Oh My! It was a lot of fun with cake, cupcakes, pizza, snacks, face painting, softball game and ended with a balloon release for Asher. This year went really great compared to last year and hopefully each year continues to get better and more in attendance.

Prayer Flags 2015

I have been participating in CarlyMarie's August 19th Day of Hope, Prayer Flag Project for the last 3 years now. I love this project and really feel like it is something that really helps me with my grief and helps me have an outlet to create something for my babies. I wasn't sure how I was going to do my flags this year. All I had was an idea to do one flag for both of them and to do a tree since we had a tree dedicated to us this year in their memory. I wanted to use what I had before going and purchasing new stuff and once I went through my supplies, the ideas just came to me and I ended up having a lot of materials to use, items that I had forgotten about. I wrote Olivia and Asher a letter on where I thought I was at with my grief this year and what each part of the flag represented. I used that letter to cut the tree out of and then used scrapbooking flowers to fill the tree in. The flowers represent how much I feel I have blossomed since losing them. The streamers represent our Native heritage and the spirits that surround us. The white feathers represent Olivia and Asher's angel wings and oddly enough the ivory lace used matches my wedding dress and it is our 10 year Anniversary. I also included the letter on the back of the flag.

Mended Little Hearts Roar & Walk 2015

On May 31, 2015 we attended the 3rd annual walk for Mended Little Hearts of Chicago. It was a cold and misty day but everyone still showed up and walked in support of their CHD warrior or angel. Our good friends Matt and Jenni and their kids Trevor and Scott braved the cold and came out to walk with Team Asher in memory of Asher.

There was a balloon release for the angels before the walk started. Three of us angel moms read off the names of all the children lost to CHD in our group.

Tree Dedication In Memory of Olivia & Asher

On Saturday, May 9th, 2015, Project 52 donated a tree, a burgundy belle to us in memory of Olivia and Asher. I got to pick the time and date so with Mother's Day being really hard, I decided that it was a good weekend to have it. The founders of Project 52 drove from Iowa to come plant the tree and perform the ceremony. Our friends Jenni, her kids and her parents along with JD's Dad and brother and a few of our neighbors all came out for the planting. I got to write Olivia and Asher's name on the shovels that were covered in lots of other names that trees have been planted for. Each one of us got to go around and put a couple of shovels of dirt on the tree. It was finished with a blessing and dedication. It was a really special and touching thing that will last forever.

Mended Little Hearts Angel Box Assemblies & Deliveries

I'm the Bereavement/Angel's Coordinator for our Mended Little Hearts. This year we have done 2 angel box assemblies and I have done 2 of the deliveries to the hospitals. We have a few wonderful angel moms that make deliveries to certain hospitals. Every time I put one of these boxes together, I can't help thinking about my own children as well as the parents of the children that will receive these boxes. In the past few months our bereavement group has grown and I'm glad that Mended Little Hearts can offer support to these parents. I put all of my heart and soul into this program.

Mended Little Hearts of Chicago's Angels Candlelight Service

Mended Little Hearts of Chicago held their first Angel's Candle Light Ceremony in memory of those lost to CHD at the end of CHD Awareness Week. Despite the beautiful snow fall, we had a good turnout and were all able to remember our children during this time.

CHD Awareness Week 2015

During CHD week there are always a lot of activities going on to spread awareness and to show support for the #1 birth defect. During this week we share awareness facts and information, wear red and share our CHD warrior or angel's story. This year we had something new and different thanks to a night of frustration, my friend and fellow baby loss mom Michelle and I came up with #RememberOurHearts as a way to share our stories and have it trending.

Olivia's Birthday Blanket Drive 2014

For Olivia's 3rd birthday we held a blanket drive for Olivia's Blankets. We had lots of blankets and ribbon donated and 108 blankets were made from the donated items. These blankets were donated to Mended Little Hearts of Chicago's Angel box program and will be donated to hospitals in Oklahoma and the Chicago area.

www.lovesissy.com/olivia

Christmas 2014

Each year for Christmas, I have a special tree just for Olivia and Asher. I have never had a real Christmas tree before so I decided to get one for their tree. It was an experience.......and I'll probably never do it again. In fact, I went out the day after Christmas and got them a white Christmas tree for next year.

Every year I like to buy Olivia and Asher a new ornament and/or make them one. This year at our annual CHD Angel Mom's Ornament Exchange, I received a handmade ornament for Olivia from a friend and a giraffe for Asher. We also had another friend and her son bring us little things for Olivia and Asher.

Olivia's 3rd Birthday

For Olivia's 3rd stillbirthday, I held a blanket drive for the project her Auntie started in her memory earlier this year, Olivia's Blankets. We received lots of ribbon and around 108 blankets.

I spent her birthday weekend making crafts for her. I made an ornament that matched the theme of her gender reveal party and made a butterfly heart.

Her daddy and I spent her birthday at Medieval Times and released some balloons for her and I made my traditional birthday cake.

Asher's 2nd Angelversary

This year for Asher's Angelversary, we decided to do something fun to celebrate and remember him instead of sitting around sad about the day. We also chose to do it with just my husband and I. On the night before his angelversary, we lit a candle and picked some roses from his garden. We always light a candle for the last few hours we had with him. On his angelversary, we decided to go to the Adler Planetarium and a vegan restaurant my husband really wanted to try. The restaurant was amazing. I'm not vegan and couldn't really even tell that it was fake meat. I had a buffalo chicken salad and a tomato basil soup. It was a really nice day and we really had a lot of fun together remembering our little baby boy.

"May you find me amongst the stars."

Asher's 2nd Birthday

For Asher's birthday, my husband was going to be in St. Louis for training for work. Rather than spend the day apart, I met his there and booked a behind the scenes tour at the St. Louis Zoo while he was in class. I took the Gentle Giants tour because we had gotten Asher one of those 4 foot giraffes while he was in the hospital amongst several other giraffes that he had. With the tour I got to feed the giraffes. After the tour, I went to the St. Louis Arch and walked around the museum. Later that night, my husband and I went out to dinner at Ruth's Chris Steakhouse (they made a vegan option for him).

Asher's 2nd Puppy Campaign

For Asher's birthday we sell stuffed dogs where for each dog purchased, one gets donated to a child with congential heart defects (CHD) or blood clots at Lurie Children's Hospital of Chicago. This year 36 stuffed dogs were donated to CHD patients and 14 were donated to blood clot patients. We made two seperate drop offs this year. The first drop off I did with my family so that they can see some of the things we do in Asher's memory and on the other drop off, we had a pizza party for the blood clot patients.

Asher's 2nd Softball Birthday Event - September 7, 2014

Every year for Asher's birthday, we hold a softball event in his memory. Our foundation has a team and we play against another foundation, Mended Little Hearts of Chicago. I absolutely loved the cake this year. It was so cute and donated by Icing Smiles. We did a puppy theme each year because Asher had a little doggie that he would always hold. After the softball event, we had a balloon release and had everyone release yellow balloons.

Prayer Flags - August 2014

Olivia

Asher

I absolutely love this project and now look forward to it each year. I really enjoyed making these flags this year.

Garden Spreading - July 3, 2014

One of the ideas that Carly Marie shared that I always have loved is that if you don't want to spread your child's ashes, spread flowers from their garden. For our vacation this year, we went up to South Haven, Michigan for a week and I found this beautiful covered bridge in a magazine and had to go see it. We took our dogs and took a walk on the trail where it was located at and tossed some of Olivia and Asher's flowers into the river. It was nice and felt like having them there with us and including them in our vacation.

Super Hero Cocktail Party - June 7, 2014

On June 7th our foundation, Asher James Foundation, held a Super Hero Cocktail Party to honor and remember all the CHD Angels gone too soon. It was a great night with friends celebrating and remembering our little babies. Each one of them left a story behind.

Butterfly Release - June 7, 2014

This year the butterfly release through the local support group was scheduled on the same day I had an event for our foundation. I missed last year's butterfly release and really wanted to make some time to go to it this year. This was one of the first things that I did in memory of Olivia so it was really important that I continue this tradition. So I set my morning schedule around attending this event. The last time I attended the event two years ago, I was pregnant with Asher and when I opened the envelope the butterfly was gone so quickly. This year, I had two butterflies, one for Olivia and one for Asher. When I opened each of the envelopes, the butterflies took their time coming out and stuck around for a little while.

When I was standing out in the garden, this couple came and stood by me even though there was plenty of room elsewhere. They had a set of twins and the mom was standing closest to me and I heard her ask her dad if he wanted to hold Olivia. I thought it was Olivia's little sign letting me know that her and Asher were there with me especially since the butterflies stuck around and didn't take off like before.

Mended Little Hearts, Walking for Little Hearts 2014

This year for Walking for Little Hearts, JD and I were more involved in setting up and helping with registration. This walk was 3 times bigger than last year. We had a great time helping and seeing all our heart friends. Because of timing, busy schedules, and illness, we were the only ones walking for Asher but we are his parents and the most important people so that's all that mattered.

This year I became the Angel's Coordinator for Mended Little Heart's Mended Little Angels program. I read a poem before the walk and every team released a balloon in memory of all our CHD Angels.

March for Babies 2014

On April 27, 2014 our team (cousins to Olivia, Aunts to Olivia) walked in memory of our little Olivia. It was of course a cold windy day (one of these years it will be perfect). We did a 3.1 mile walk up and down hills. Olivia's Auntie has been in a wheel chair for months and has been walking again with a walker and was able to conquer this walk in Olivia's memory.

We love you Olivia Madilynn forever and always....

Olivia's Blankets

Olivia and Asher's Auntie started something in memory of Olivia that is just perfect - Olivia's Blankets. She cuts a blanket in half and ties them together so that when parents have to leave the hospital without their child that they've just lost, they can leave part of the blanket with them and the other part they can take home. She packages them up so cute. She plans to deliver them to local hospitals for stillbirth parents. You can read more about this project on her website by clicking here.

I often feel that Olivia gets overlooked because of having our foundation for Asher so this was an amazing and wonderful surprise and such a nice project to do in memory of her.

April 26, 2014 - 153 Olivia's Blankets were donated to Sawyer's Heart

Congenital Heart Disease Awareness Week 7-14 February

During CHD Awareness week, I along with others wore red for Asher and other CHD angels and warriors. Mended Little Hearts also had people light candles on February 12th in memory of CHD angels.

Olivia & Asher's 2nd Annual Holiday Drive

This year for Oliva and Asher's Annual Holiday Drive we collected items to put together gift bags for heart and blood clotting disorder patients in the hospital during Christmas at Ann & Robert H. Lurie Children's Hospital of Chicago. We started our drive during Olivia's Birthday Week and ended it with a Holiday Party. Friends and family came to the party and made Christmas cards to put in each of the bags. At the end of the party we put the bags together. We sold Holiday Bears to add to each bag. Other items in the bags were - Christmas static clings, Christmas books, notebooks or journals, small notebooks, snacks and toiletries. Each bag also had a card with Asher's story attached.

A friend of mine also held our drive at her church and the Youth Group helped make cards and assemble the bags with the items they collected.

On the Friday before Christmas, my sister-n-law and I drove in to Chicago and delivered the bags to the staff to pass out to the patients. We collected 36 bags for the heart patients and 21 for the blood clotting patients. We ended up with 4 bears left over. Those will be donated to Mended Little Heart's Angel's Program in memory of Olivia and Asher.

Candle Lighting Ceremony 2013

This was my 2nd Candle Lighting Ceremony that I have attended in memory of Olivia and Asher. It is held at the chapel at the hospital where I had Olivia. I particularly don't like going to this hospital because of the bad experience we have had there but they have a beautiful chapel and the bereavement support group puts on a nice little ceremony. Luckily the chapel is right inside the hospital so you really don't feel like you are in the hospital. Last year my husband attended but he felt it was too hard to go this year and didn't attend. These things don't comfort him but I find comfort in them so I went. My sister-n-law was kind enough to attend with me. It was nice to take some time out of my schedule to just sit with others that have lost a baby and light a candle for them. After the candle lighting ceremony we went and had dinner at TGI Fridays and talked about what the next year might look like. Hoping it is a more peaceful year then the one before.

Olivia's 2nd (still) Birthday, Birthday Week

For Olivia's birthday week, we donated memory boxes to the hospital where Olivia was born for parents that lose a child during the Holidays. We also had people wear pink, purple or white, write Olivia's name somewhere, did White Signs of Grief and our annual Holiday Drive started. My husband and I also released 27 balloons for the 27 weeks Olivia was with us, I baked her a cake and we dressed up and went to dinner.

For the memory boxes, my sister-n-law and I went a week before her birthday week and purchased all the items for the boxes and decorated them all. I picked out items that I would have liked to have had when she was born. The items we added were - washcloths and travel soap, 2 blankets, angel ornament, candle, ornament molding kit for handprints or footprints, frame for hand or footprints, frame for picture and a card.

Asher's Angelversary

For Asher's Angelversary (death date), I wanted to remember the last few hours we had with him so the night before his Angelversary we along with so many friends and family lit candles in his memory. Family came over to our house and we carved pumpkins, lit our candles and watched videos of Asher.

October 15th - Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Day

I am all about breaking the silence surrounding baby loss awareness. So for the day, I made each immediate family members ribbons with roses (Hobby Lobby sells ribbon with these roses on them). The weekend prior to October 15th, my husband and I went to a local balloon release and released one blue and one pink balloon for Olivia and Asher. On October 15th I along with some others lighted candles in their memory.

I also participated in Carly Marie's Capture Your Grief Photo Challenge. for the month of October. It was yet again a very healing but yet challenging experience.

Asher's 1st Birthday, Birthday Week

For Asher's birthday, we decided to do a whole week of events. For me, it kept me occupied and helped me to look forward to good things instead of being really depressed that he wasn't here with us.

We started the birthday week with a fundraiser softball game to raise money for our foundation. Mended Little Hearts of Chicago joined us in this event and helped us celebrate. We continued the week with wearing blue or yellow, doing random acts of kindness, writing Asher's name somewhere, donating stuffed dogs to heart and blood clotting patients and finished the week with a family get together on the beach to light sky lanterns.

There was so much love and support for Asher and for us during his birthday week. Everytime I turned around there was a new picture being posted on facebook. It was so a really good feeling.

Prayer Flags

Carly Marie is one of the most inspirational people in the baby loss community. If you haven't checked out her site, click here.

Each year she holds an annual Prayer Flag project. This was my first year participating and it was such a healing experience. I couldn't stop with just one. My original plan was to make one for Olivia and one for Asher and then I decided to make one for each of their birthdays and one with the sand art pic that my husband got me for Mother's Day from Carly Marie.

Mended Little Hearts Walking for Little Hearts

This was one of the best walks I have ever attended and maybe it is because of all the personal touches. We walked on a very hot August day at a college. Walking around the campus with all the heart families was a great experience. Some of us were walking for the heart heroes that continue to fight and be strong and a select few of us were walking in memory of the heart heroes that fought as hard as they could - leaving an impression on us forever.

Some of our family and friends joined us in walking in memory of our little fighter Asher. Finishing the walk and seeing his picture on this sign was the best thing ever. 3 of us Angel moms brought our Heart Hero capes that we received in memory of our angels and took a photo with the capes on cousins and siblings of the angels.

Ann & Robert H. Lurie Children's Hospital's Move for Kids

In May, we (my husband, I and our two dogs) walked in memory of Olivia and Asher at the hospital were Asher was at. The walk started in Chicago at Soldier Field and went along the lake front ending back at Soldier Field.

Congenital Heart Disease Awareness Week

Asher James Congenital Heart Disease & Thrombosis Foundation Launch Party

After losing Asher, we decided to start a foundation to continue his fight. Asher developed blood clots and we learned that there was no awareness and no money for research in blood clots in children and we learned that this was happening to more and more children - especially those that spend some time in the hospital after surgeries. In February 2013, we had our Launch Party for the foundation to raise money and awareness during Congenital Heart Disease Awareness week.

Our foundation continues to grow and is focusing primarily on awareness in thrombosis in children but as the foundation grows we will start funding and focusing on research so that we can improve treatments in children. _

Candlelighting Ceremony

Through the local bereavement support group we attended their candle lighting ceremony to light candles for Olivia and Asher.

Olivia & Asher's 1st Annual Holiday Drive

Since we didn't have either one of our children with us, for Christmas, we decided to hold a Holiday Drive in their memory. We chose the Ronald McDonald House as the charity to hold the drive for. We collected 2 SUVs full of supplies donated by all the people that have supported us.

Olivia's 1st Birthday

For Olivia's 1st Birthday, we had family over for a small party and balloon release. I made the rose cake and set the table up with a pink rose fabric that I had bought to make her a blanket. I framed a quote that said "Angels are often disguised as daughters." I bought some Christmas books to donate for the Holiday Drive we were having since I could not buy her a present. We released purple and pink balloons and a couple blue balloons for her little brother Asher that we had lost 1 month prior.

Butterfly Release

The bereavement support group in the area had a butterfly release in memory of babies lost too soon. I attended by myself (everyone else was working) because it was something I really wanted to do. I think of Olivia as my little butterfly so I really wanted to release a butterfly for her. I was pregnant with Asher and it was a really hot day but I got to release a butterfly for her and that made me happy.

March for Babies

5 months after we lost our daughter Olivia, we walked in her memory at the March of Dimes March for Babies. Friends and family joined us in the walk. It was nice to do something special for her. It was a cold Spring Day but was worth doing this in her memory.

After the walk was over, we had everyone over our house for a little get together. I love throwing parties and planning things out so this had to be a cute shindig as well.

I got cute little cowboy boot mugs from Oriental Trading and filled them with a chex mix and added a little frame from Ikea with the saying "Thanks for "Marching" in memory of Olivia." I also made strawberry cupcakes with purple colored frosting. There was a basket with favors. Each favor had a purple bear from Oriental Trading and assorted candy. Bubbles and candy was also placed on the table.