I feel like this pregnancy is going by so slow..... It could be because I am usually really busy but have had a fairly free schedule which has made me a little bored. April is pretty busy so maybe time will go by a little faster.
I have gotten a lot of my energy back but still have to watch how much I do because I do tire easy and my back starts hurting. I think I had a pinched nerve for a week or so because it kept hurting on one side. I went to the chiropractor and the pain switched to the other side. I did some yoga stretches and that seemed to help. I'm not as nauseous as I was. Every now and then I get nauseous from certain things. Nina is starting to kick and they are getting stronger. Maybe in the next week her daddy will be able to feel her. We have two more weeks until we get the full anatomy check and get that heart looked at. I have been a little nervous and panicky about her making it and I am hoping that once we have this appointment some of my fears will go away. Probably not though....I'm sure I'll just find new ones. I have had a hard time sleeping because I either wake up with my back hurting or scared that I'm smashing her. And now that she is moving, I start worrying that she isn't moving enough or isn't getting strong enough and then I have to remember that she is only 4 1/2 inches. Don't tell my husband because he'll only say I told you so. He knew I would worry about that long before it even happened.
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I've been asked what animal I'll associate with this baby since I have one for Olivia and Asher. I wasn't sure until I remembered something. After losing Asher I started running to lose the baby weight and it also helped with my grief. I used to think, cry and ask about my future on these runs. I was always so sure that I'd never be a mom to a living child. On these runs, a white butterfly would follow me and at the end of the run there would be a bunny. Somehow seeing the bunny at the end would make me feel better.
I ordered these custom flowers from @somethingfelt to make a rainbow maternity sash for my gender reveal but having a party didn't work out and we just did it at our fundraiser. I decided to make a wreath for our little girl's nursery door. I went to @joann_stores to get a wreath and saw this bunny wreath. The two white flowers represent Olivia and Asher. I really love the way it turned out. And I know this little girl will pick what she loves and associates with herself but for now I get to pick a bunny.#debouverrainbow #feltflowers #bunnywreath#babyloss #oliviaandasher #diy #diyproject I haven't really had any cravings this pregnancy except I really like having this fruit combo in the morning but prefer it with cheese instead of almonds. It has been a hectic few weeks so it has been nice getting back into a routine. I am starting to not fit my regular shirts anymore so it's time to get out the full maternity wardrobe and update my closet.
I knew with this baby that I wanted to be the one to be surprised when finding out the gender. With Olivia and Asher, we found out the gender at the doctor's and then had a party or surprised everyone else. This is our last so I wanted the surprise. I have been feeling all along that it was a girl so I really wasn't in that big of a hurry to find out. I think everyone around me was probably more excited than I was.
It's been a rough couple weeks with my grandmother falling, going to say goodbye and then her passing away. The results from the test came in during all of this so maybe if this wasn't going on the excitement would've been a little higher. We ended up having a cake at our Annual Chili Cook Off for our foundation, Asher James Foundation. My best friend Melanie picked up the results from the doctors office and had a cake made. I'm really not sure how she kept it a secret. JD was the only other person who knew because he didn't want to be surprised. Oh except for Maddy, who is 3. I'm not sure how she kept it a secret either. She sent me a cute video the morning of the reveal letting me know it was a secret. I was so busy prepping for the event that by the time the party started, I was exhausted. My friend is always late to things and this was no exception. Everyone kept asking where the cake was, thinking we would be cutting into it as soon as it came through the door. As soon as that cake came through the door, I got super excited and was ready to cut into it. So an hour after the event started, it was finally time to find out what the gender was. I cut into the cake and went to cut again and realized the knife had pink frosting on it. I knew in my heart that it was a girl and was still surprised, excited and completely happy. Having someone else surprise me this way in front of family and friends was the most amazing way to find out and I am so thankful for my friend for helping to make this happen. So before all this happened, people have been asking me what I thought it was but I would never tell them my guess. Most people guessed a girl and only a few actually thought it was a boy. Ever since we lost Asher I have been having dreams about giving birth and having a baby girl being put into my arms. I have had this same dream for 3 years. I saw a physic medium a couple years ago and she told me Olivia was bringing me a dream of my future. So when I got pregnant, I knew it had to be a girl. These past couple weeks have been busy and exhausting. My grandmother died a week ago and we drove to Michigan to say goodbye to her and then came back home. She passed the next morning after we got home so then we drove back for the funeral. I'm not that far along and have so many more weeks to go but the back pain has started and getting comfortable sleeping. I'm hoping it's just because of everything that has been going on. Other than that I have started getting my energy back.
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About MeI have experienced two separate losses to stillbirth and infant loss to CHD and blood clots. This is my online journal with my 3rd pregnancy, my rainbow. Archives
July 2017
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